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Weekday drug report 2001
Your Guide to a Safe
Trip on the Playa.
by Shaft@gigsville.org
KNOWN PROBLEM SUBSTANCES
Users should approach these drugs with caution:
DESCRIPTION: Blue tablet with Apple logo.
STREET NAME: System
X.
ANALYSIS: Nice visuals, but user will crash if he or she
opens too many windows of perception.
DESCRIPTION: Grey tablet with Elephant icon.
STREET NAME: G.O.P's.
ANALYSIS: 10% MDMA, 30% Sominex, 60% Immodium AD. Drug can lead to a smug sense that helping
others is best accomplished through inaction. Side effects include seeking favor from the wealthy and a spiritual
affinity for "Touched by an Angel."
DESCRIPTION: Syringe with clear liquid and "D"
markered on side.
STREET NAME: Drano.
ANALYSIS: Actual
Drano. Shoot only into intestines to
cure clogs.
DESCRIPTION: Car
keys jammed into eyeballs.
STREET NAME: The Big
Mitsubishi.
ANALYSIS: Side
effects include pain, headaches, loss of vision, and inability to drive.
DESCRIPTION: Nuprin.
ANALYSIS: Little. Yellow. Different.
GOOD ECSTACY
The following have
been determined to contain 100% MDMA:
DESCRIPTION: Brown tablet with face of Richard Nixon.
STREET NAME: Tricky Dicks.
ANALYSIS: See Camp
Kissinger, and ask if they "have the tapes."
DESCRIPTION: Pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green
clovers.
STREET NAME: Unavailable due to copyright issues.
ANALYSIS: Found only
from elusive, paranoid leprechaun.
DESCRIPTION: MDMA suppository shaped like Dr. Who's TARDIS.
STREET NAME: Time and Realtive Dimension in Your Ass.
ANALYSIS: Obscure
drug of interest only to hardcore fans of British sci-fi. Insert into rectum, leave planet.
DESCRIPTION: Gray
tablet with Thumbs-Up.
STREET NAME: Fonzies.
ANALYSIS: "Ayyyyyyyy!"
WORD ON THE STREET
MARKET REPORT: In
accordance with Burning Man's "No Commerce" policy, all dealers have
agreed to apply the barter system to drug exchanges.Ê The market value of one eighth of marijuana is now two Power
Bars, one alien-head necklace, and a blow job.
WARNING: Avoid a
naked red-haired man with a moustache charging ten dollars to "smoke his
pole." There will be no smoking
involved.
-Have a safe trip!-
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